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LEXOPHILIA

Author Post
Delj
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:26PM Email Thread Print View
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, then U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist divorced. They had fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center. They charged a three-year-old
with resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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SCM ALERT🚨
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:33PM

Automated Alert Robot

Joined: Wed Dec 26 2007, 08:50PM
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Posts: 3055
Good ones Delj! Good reading for when your sitting on Hwy 38 for 6 hours. Takes the bite off

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©ammy ⭐
Mon Feb 18 2019, 08:05PM


Joined: Sat Aug 19 2006, 06:01PM
:
Posts: 12948
I'm sure I learned English when I was little - it has so many quirks!
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Cap'n Crunch
Mon Feb 18 2019, 10:05PM

Registered Member #12800
Joined: Tue Jan 05 2016, 09:02PM
:
Posts: 299
Hey Dell. Knowing you, I bet that anti-gravity book was by Isaac Asimov.

Tim (KE6PMA)
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MrOwl
Tue Feb 19 2019, 05:25AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
Haven't heard many of those.

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

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McCall Idaho Weather

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NShore.Allen
Tue Feb 19 2019, 06:37AM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2240
Yes I can roast beef but won’t pea soup.

A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Delj
Tue Feb 19 2019, 08:51PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
Keep them coming!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Moderators: Craig ⭐, ©ammy ⭐, Lumber Jill ⭐, Mtngoat John⭐, Deb Doodah⭐, SCM ALERT🚨, Benny ⭐, Socalmountains Admin, ⚡WX ALERT⚡

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BBNona
May 26 : 09:24pm
My kids left about 8 in Tesla with all wheel drive. They are behind snow plow near snow valley and wish they would have listened to Mother and stayed the night! Not the time to be on the road.

yz4me
May 26 : 09:15pm
Thank you

⚡WX ALERT⚡
May 26 : 09:15pm
Not a whole lot, yet. There are reports of a couple spun out vehicles through Arctic Circle, but looking at the Snow Valley cam, not much has accumulated on the roads. With the temp still above freezing roads should be ok, just wet for now. As temperatures drop below freezing later tonight, expect some ice/snow develop on the roadways so travel safely if you must!

There's is another decent band of snow moving in over the next hour or two.... [Click Here]

yz4me
May 26 : 09:08pm
Any snow on the roads out there?

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:43pm
Reported Structure Fire Big Bear City: Chimney Burnout - Units Report Fire Out Upon Arrival - Cancel The Balance Of The Response More Info: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:38pm
TYPE: STRUCTURE FIRE AREA: BIG BEAR CITY 3XX BARKER BLVD - BBC X N GOLD MOUNTAIN DR/N PARADISE WAY UNITS: ME282 BC2805 MT281 MA282A MA281 CLOCK10B LPTAC9D 2TAC3 BFAALL FEDCOM
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

Benny ⭐
May 26 : 08:21pm
R2 chain restrictions now if effect from snow valley to the big bear dam. (Arctic Circke)

Benny ⭐
May 26 : 08:19pm
I knew the answer cause I googled it, but didn't want to spoil it for the others!

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:15pm
CHAIN RESTRICTIONS EXIST IN PORTIONS OF THE SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS
For realtime conditions, click here: [Click Here]

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 08:12pm
And apologies for the senility reference.

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 08:05pm
Yeahhh... "Carry on" on the Deja Vu album. 1970.

ChillyBeans
May 26 : 08:00pm
OMG I think I know the answer.
CSN&Y?

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 07:21pm
Another test for those of us approaching senility. 10 points for the first correct answer!!!

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 07:15pm
Caarrrry chains... snoooowwww is coming... snooowwwwww is coming to us all!!!

⚡WX ALERT⚡
May 26 : 07:03pm
Another wave of moisture will move through the area over the next several hours with more rain and snow showers likely. The snow level could dip to around 6,000 feet with a couple inches possible. Travel safely and carry chains just in case!



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