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LEXOPHILIA

Author Post
Delj
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:26PM Email Thread Print View
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, then U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist divorced. They had fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center. They charged a three-year-old
with resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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SCM ALERT🚨
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:33PM

Automated Alert Robot

Joined: Wed Dec 26 2007, 08:50PM
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Posts: 3054
Good ones Delj! Good reading for when your sitting on Hwy 38 for 6 hours. Takes the bite off

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©ammy ⭐
Mon Feb 18 2019, 08:05PM


Joined: Sat Aug 19 2006, 06:01PM
:
Posts: 12948
I'm sure I learned English when I was little - it has so many quirks!
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Cap'n Crunch
Mon Feb 18 2019, 10:05PM

Registered Member #12800
Joined: Tue Jan 05 2016, 09:02PM
:
Posts: 299
Hey Dell. Knowing you, I bet that anti-gravity book was by Isaac Asimov.

Tim (KE6PMA)
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MrOwl
Tue Feb 19 2019, 05:25AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
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Posts: 1430
Haven't heard many of those.

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

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McCall Idaho Weather

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NShore.Allen
Tue Feb 19 2019, 06:37AM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2240
Yes I can roast beef but won’t pea soup.

A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Delj
Tue Feb 19 2019, 08:51PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
Keep them coming!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Cap'n Crunch
May 25 : 11:16pm
It's a tossup between Mitch Rapp and Jack Reacher for the best modern-day Paladin.

sparman
May 25 : 10:18pm
Tom Clancy is a great writer. Any Vince Flynn fans out there?

Hugereilly
May 25 : 10:16pm
"Be careful. Most things in here don't react well to bullets." Yeah-like me.
Jack Ryan

Benny ⭐
May 25 : 10:04pm
Duh, a classic! Red October!

IDKnothin
May 25 : 09:46pm
One of my favorite movies, after this one ....
“One ping only, please.”

sparman
May 25 : 09:12pm
BTW, the 5:52 movie reference was Patriot Games.
No takers...

sparman
May 25 : 08:55pm
77 Sunset Strip
Edd Byrnes!

Polar Orbit
May 25 : 08:37pm
Ten points for Charles!

Charles
May 25 : 08:10pm
Is Kookie the guy with the comb?

SCM ALERT🚨
May 25 : 07:58pm
First name: Oreo
Last name: Cookie

Polar Orbit
May 25 : 07:28pm
So Jack ultimately became Jackie, so can Cookie become Kookie, for those of you old enough to remember...

sparman
May 25 : 05:51pm
"That's me holding my temper Jimmy Boy."
What's the movie reference?

sparman
May 25 : 05:49pm
A BON FIRE in Lake Arrowhead. GET 'EM!
My money says they're VRBO...

SCM ALERT🚨
May 25 : 05:47pm
TYPE: TRAFFIC ACCIDENT AREA: BARTON FLATS MM29 STATE 38 - BFL MM29-STATE38 X UNITS: E98 ME283 MA282
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BootsNBridles
May 25 : 05:12pm
Agree- looked like Simba was saying goodbye!



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