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LEXOPHILIA

Author Post
Delj
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:26PM Email Thread Print View
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, then U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist divorced. They had fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center. They charged a three-year-old
with resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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SCM ALERT🚨
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:33PM

Automated Alert Robot

Joined: Wed Dec 26 2007, 08:50PM
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Posts: 3196
Good ones Delj! Good reading for when your sitting on Hwy 38 for 6 hours. Takes the bite off

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©ammy ⭐
Mon Feb 18 2019, 08:05PM


Joined: Sat Aug 19 2006, 06:01PM
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Posts: 13131
I'm sure I learned English when I was little - it has so many quirks!
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Cap'n Crunch
Mon Feb 18 2019, 10:05PM

Registered Member #12800
Joined: Tue Jan 05 2016, 09:02PM
:
Posts: 327
Hey Dell. Knowing you, I bet that anti-gravity book was by Isaac Asimov.

Tim (KE6PMA)
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MrOwl
Tue Feb 19 2019, 05:25AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1557
Haven't heard many of those.

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

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McCall Idaho Weather

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NShore.Allen
Tue Feb 19 2019, 06:37AM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2332
Yes I can roast beef but won’t pea soup.

A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Delj
Tue Feb 19 2019, 08:51PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
Keep them coming!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Moderators: Craig ⭐, ©ammy ⭐, Lumber Jill ⭐, Mtngoat John⭐, Deb Doodah⭐, SCM ALERT🚨, Benny ⭐, Socalmountains Admin, ⚡WX ALERT⚡

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SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 28 : 12:30am
[CHP DISPATCH] CRESTLINE


- WW-WRONG WAY DRIVER HIGHWAY 18 / CRESTLINE BRIDGE 12:29AM [9] MESSAGE DELIVERED SBSO
12:28AM [4] PER DUP * HEADED SOUTH BOUND IN THE NORTH BOUND LNS
12:25AM [1] DOWNBOUND IN UPBOUND LNS Updates: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 28 : 12:03am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Sadie Girl
skyebear
Tibia w6ajo
Have a great day from all of us at SCM!

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 09:35pm
The Big Bear Eagle Nest live camera is located here: [Click Here]

Polar Orbit
Feb 27 : 09:30pm
Is it felony to hit a condor? Or just an eagle? Seriously, if we can't laugh at our typos or autocorrect, life wouldn't be as much fun.

TomTom
Feb 27 : 06:23pm
Thanks Benny, Craig ..

Craig ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:57pm
@Peanut WELCOME! Glad you have found the site useful over the years and we are glad to see you logged into the site! Debbie has it correct about it being a nut house, but its a really nice bunch of nuts!

Benny ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:57pm
Welcome TomTom! No, shouldn't have much ice around. But sometimes the street bikes hit a patch of conders, that can be slippery!

Craig ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:56pm
Hi Tom! Welcome to SCM!

TomTom
Feb 27 : 05:11pm
I'm a newbie to the site, Hi,

I noticed a biker went down yesterday, is there any ice or snow on 330, 18 or 38 today which could be a hazard to motorcyclists? Saw the alert about rocks!

Thx,
Tom

Deb Doodah⭐
Feb 27 : 04:59pm
Welcome to the nut house Peanut!

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 12:12pm
CHP Press Release: Arrest Made in November Hit and Run. Full Story: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 11:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: RT @SBCOUNTYFIRE: Lytle Creek (Final): BC131 advising fire knocked down on mobile home / exposures. Unified incident between @SanBernardinoNF / #SBCoFD. BDF advising forward ROS stopped on brush at 1/4 acre. @sbcountysheriff on scene investigating possible illegal activity on

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 11:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: Ignitions at the Angelus Oaks project site commenced this morning and have been cut off due to dropping humidities. Fire crews will remain on scene to monitor and mop up. [Click Here]

Peanut
Feb 27 : 11:15am
Peanut here, changed my status from guest of many years to member. This is my go-to site a dozen times a day. I know, I should get a life.

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 10:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: RT @SBCOUNTYFIRE: LYTLE CREEK: #SBCoFD / @SanBernardinoNF on scene of a RESIDENTIAL STRUCTURE FIRE, 13k block Lytle Grove lane. Fully involved motor home with spread into the surrounding vegetation, exposure to 2 outbuildings & propane tanks. BDF engine E31 advising 1/4 ac


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