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LEXOPHILIA

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Delj
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:26PM Email Thread Print View
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, then U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist divorced. They had fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center. They charged a three-year-old
with resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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SCM ALERT🚨
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:33PM

Automated Alert Robot

Joined: Wed Dec 26 2007, 08:50PM
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Posts: 3101
Good ones Delj! Good reading for when your sitting on Hwy 38 for 6 hours. Takes the bite off

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©ammy ⭐
Mon Feb 18 2019, 08:05PM


Joined: Sat Aug 19 2006, 06:01PM
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Posts: 12984
I'm sure I learned English when I was little - it has so many quirks!
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Cap'n Crunch
Mon Feb 18 2019, 10:05PM

Registered Member #12800
Joined: Tue Jan 05 2016, 09:02PM
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Posts: 306
Hey Dell. Knowing you, I bet that anti-gravity book was by Isaac Asimov.

Tim (KE6PMA)
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MrOwl
Tue Feb 19 2019, 05:25AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
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Posts: 1446
Haven't heard many of those.

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

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McCall Idaho Weather

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NShore.Allen
Tue Feb 19 2019, 06:37AM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2259
Yes I can roast beef but won’t pea soup.

A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Delj
Tue Feb 19 2019, 08:51PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
Keep them coming!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Tlingit
Aug 24 : 01:37pm
Assimilation is key mtman. If I moved to another country I'd be expected to speak the language.

WaveSlider
Aug 24 : 11:50am
Have a good weekend everybody. Looks really nice up there.

MtMan
Aug 24 : 11:24am
I get your point but disagree. You should learn english if you live here, period.

wolfman
Aug 24 : 11:00am
Korean

wolfman
Aug 24 : 10:59am
I think that the turn out signs should also be written Spainish,Mandarin and loren.

Socalman
Aug 24 : 10:28am
I have been going up and down from Big Bear for almost 70 years. We are part-timers. My parents owned since about 1957, my wife and I bought in 2002. I can tell you that is it not only flatlanders who do speed up on the passing lanes.I have seen cars and trucks with business signs do the same. I am not offended by the term flatlander, I suppose it is descriptive. It certainly is easier then saying 'someone who lives off the mountain.'

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 10:00am
"flatlanders" is a derogatory remark don't you think Nona?

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 09:36am
Evaj X2...I have 2 pitties that don't like the curves so I get it.

Between ⭐️S
Aug 24 : 07:23am
Today is Mel Blanc & Kids day at the museum. The Museum will welcomes Noel and Katherine Blanc who will be appearing between 1 and 2 pm. Museum docents will be reading to children young and old “Melvin the Mouth”, written by Katherine Blanc. The book describes a typical school day enjoyed by Mel. The readings will be held in the Doble School House at 11:00 a.m., and 12:00, 2:00, and 3:00 p.m.

dsrtpsn
Aug 24 : 06:09am
clouds looking ominous just to the East of Indio

holeinbow
Aug 24 : 04:03am
Thanks huge, you had us cracking up...

Hugereilly
Aug 23 : 10:24pm
While driving UTH, my 6yo grandson asked me how I knew that everyone that was in front of me was named Dick. !!

MrOwl
Aug 23 : 09:33pm
Hey SCM. 3 car rule in Idaho but rarely does anyone pull in the slow vehicle pullout lane area

SCM ALERT🚨
Aug 23 : 07:55pm
Hey Mr Owl!

Benny ⭐
Aug 23 : 07:39pm
Yeah they've even put signs up along hwy 38, 5 or more cars to pull over. Haven't noticed them on 330, and it doesn't seem like they do any good anyway.



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