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LEXOPHILIA

Author Post
Delj
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:26PM Email Thread Print View
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, then U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist divorced. They had fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center. They charged a three-year-old
with resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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SCM ALERT🚨
Mon Feb 18 2019, 04:33PM

Automated Alert Robot

Joined: Wed Dec 26 2007, 08:50PM
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Posts: 3009
Good ones Delj! Good reading for when your sitting on Hwy 38 for 6 hours. Takes the bite off

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©ammy ⭐
Mon Feb 18 2019, 08:05PM


Joined: Sat Aug 19 2006, 06:01PM
:
Posts: 12903
I'm sure I learned English when I was little - it has so many quirks!
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Cap'n Crunch
Mon Feb 18 2019, 10:05PM

Registered Member #12800
Joined: Tue Jan 05 2016, 09:02PM
:
Posts: 293
Hey Dell. Knowing you, I bet that anti-gravity book was by Isaac Asimov.

Tim (KE6PMA)
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MrOwl
Tue Feb 19 2019, 05:25AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1409
Haven't heard many of those.

----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

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McCall Idaho Weather

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NShore.Allen
Tue Feb 19 2019, 06:37AM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2231
Yes I can roast beef but won’t pea soup.

A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Delj
Tue Feb 19 2019, 08:51PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 2048
Keep them coming!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Craig ⭐
Apr 23 : 11:39pm
Hey Skippy!

Skippy
Apr 23 : 10:07pm
The second wave of painted lady butterflies has hatched and a fresh litter of bunnies have emerged. It always amazes me how animals are great at sharing the earth yet the large brained ones can't even share the road.

Fawnskindawn
Apr 23 : 08:56pm
Shadow has turned out to be quite the fisherman.

Quakes
Apr 23 : 08:48pm
Thanks IDKnothin!

IDKnothin
Apr 23 : 08:39pm
Hey Quakster - here’s a special one just for you!

[Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
Apr 23 : 08:07pm
TYPE: TRAFFIC ACCIDENT AREA: LAKE ARROWHEAD STATE HWY 18 / ARROWHEAD VILLA RD - LAA X UNITS: BC132 R91 ME26 ME94 ME92 MA91
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

Craig ⭐
Apr 23 : 07:59pm
Hey Mountain Lvr!!! Hope you are doing well... Wait, where are you these days???

Mountainlvr
Apr 23 : 07:38pm
I miss you Big Bear ❤️ Hi everyone!

SQUATCH
Apr 23 : 06:51pm
A.R.....even though Grout Creek and a few other lake feeders are still flowing, volume is such that we`re looking at a few more inches max...
The good news is that you don`t have to extend the gangway/dock out nearly as far to get to proper depth this year!

Airport Razz
Apr 23 : 06:11pm
Hey Lake People. As it is so nice to see blue at the east end once again, what are the chances we will get another couple of feet in the next month or so. Would so love to put new owners dock out for the first time in 6 years???????

Airport Razz
Apr 23 : 06:09pm
NSA, from another former scouter, Kudos on so many years of service and you are still going strong. Just goes to show that it just a couple of morons followed by and idiot or two to really fowl it up for the good ones and for the kids. An experience I would never want to forgo.

Cap'n Crunch
Apr 23 : 03:57pm
even...

Cap'n Crunch
Apr 23 : 03:56pm
Only one more inch this week. I'm rooting for three more inches to reach an evel 63 foot lake level!

SCM ALERT🚨
Apr 23 : 03:30pm
TYPE: VEHICLE FIRE AREA: MENTONE SAND CANYON RD / 5TH AVE - MEN X UNITS: ME9 FEDCOM CALCOM
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

NShore.Allen
Apr 23 : 02:12pm
Was a scout leader for my two boys (both earned eagle rank) and the rest of the troop of about 70 boys. Was the cooking merit badge counselor, led 12 summer camps (one to Crater Lake, OR another to Philmont Scout Ranch NM), had a group of 11 Tiger Cubs (1st graders) of which 7 earned eagle. Also won 7 adult Golden Spoon camp cooking awards! Our troop (Fullerton 1201) was formed 1919.



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