Current Weather @ 01:56 AM Clear skies Temp 32.0º Humidity 67% Winds NE 0.0mph Max Gust 0.0mph
Todays Extremes High 32.0º Low 31.4º Rain 0.00" Rain Rate 0.000" per hr Snow 0.00" Season 56"
LATEST ALERTS (whats this?)
None at this time
Welcome
Username:

Password:


Remember me

[ ]
[ ]
ROADS AND TRAFFIC
Updated: 01:00 AM v2.1
Run Spr to Highland  (330): 21 mins  
Highland to Run Spr  (330): 20 mins  
Big Bear to Run Spr    (18): 23 mins  
Run Spr to Big Bear    (18): 20 mins  
Big Bear to Redlands  (38): 66 mins  
Redlands to Big Bear  (38): 65 mins  
Big Bear to Lucerne    (18): 33 mins  
Lucerne to Big Bear    (18): 35 mins  
=Light  =Moderate  =Heavy Traffic
Road Conditions Page: Click Here
Online
Guests: 247, Members: 0 ...

most ever online: 1871
(Members: 29, Guests: 1842) on Nov 30 : 08:15am

Members: 5977
Newest member: TomTom
SUPPORT SCM!
Support SCM by making a single or recurring donation.

Member's Birthdays:

Upcoming Birthdays:
Feb 29 sagelady
Mar 01 Around The Lake
Mar 01 Cam
Mar 03 bbmtnbb
Mar 03 starphoto
Mar 04 Guido
Forums
Socalmountains.com :: Forums :: JOKES & FUNNY/STUPID STORIES
<< Previous thread | Next thread >>   

Lexophilia

Author Post
MrOwl
Mon Aug 13 2018, 07:17AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1557
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.


----------------------------
Meridian Idaho Weather

[Click Here]

McCall Idaho Weather

[Click Here]
Back to top

Moderators: Craig ⭐, ©ammy ⭐, Lumber Jill ⭐, Mtngoat John⭐, Deb Doodah⭐, SCM ALERT🚨, Benny ⭐, Socalmountains Admin, ⚡WX ALERT⚡

Jump:     Back to top

Powered by e107 Forum System
Chatbox
You must be logged in to post comments on this site - please either log in or if you are not registered click here to signup


SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 28 : 12:30am
[CHP DISPATCH] CRESTLINE


- WW-WRONG WAY DRIVER HIGHWAY 18 / CRESTLINE BRIDGE 12:29AM [9] MESSAGE DELIVERED SBSO
12:28AM [4] PER DUP * HEADED SOUTH BOUND IN THE NORTH BOUND LNS
12:25AM [1] DOWNBOUND IN UPBOUND LNS Updates: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 28 : 12:03am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Sadie Girl
skyebear
Tibia w6ajo
Have a great day from all of us at SCM!

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 09:35pm
The Big Bear Eagle Nest live camera is located here: [Click Here]

Polar Orbit
Feb 27 : 09:30pm
Is it felony to hit a condor? Or just an eagle? Seriously, if we can't laugh at our typos or autocorrect, life wouldn't be as much fun.

TomTom
Feb 27 : 06:23pm
Thanks Benny, Craig ..

Craig ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:57pm
@Peanut WELCOME! Glad you have found the site useful over the years and we are glad to see you logged into the site! Debbie has it correct about it being a nut house, but its a really nice bunch of nuts!

Benny ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:57pm
Welcome TomTom! No, shouldn't have much ice around. But sometimes the street bikes hit a patch of conders, that can be slippery!

Craig ⭐
Feb 27 : 05:56pm
Hi Tom! Welcome to SCM!

TomTom
Feb 27 : 05:11pm
I'm a newbie to the site, Hi,

I noticed a biker went down yesterday, is there any ice or snow on 330, 18 or 38 today which could be a hazard to motorcyclists? Saw the alert about rocks!

Thx,
Tom

Deb Doodah⭐
Feb 27 : 04:59pm
Welcome to the nut house Peanut!

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 12:12pm
CHP Press Release: Arrest Made in November Hit and Run. Full Story: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 11:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: RT @SBCOUNTYFIRE: Lytle Creek (Final): BC131 advising fire knocked down on mobile home / exposures. Unified incident between @SanBernardinoNF / #SBCoFD. BDF advising forward ROS stopped on brush at 1/4 acre. @sbcountysheriff on scene investigating possible illegal activity on

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 11:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: Ignitions at the Angelus Oaks project site commenced this morning and have been cut off due to dropping humidities. Fire crews will remain on scene to monitor and mop up. [Click Here]

Peanut
Feb 27 : 11:15am
Peanut here, changed my status from guest of many years to member. This is my go-to site a dozen times a day. I know, I should get a life.

SCM ALERT🚨
Feb 27 : 10:16am
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: RT @SBCOUNTYFIRE: LYTLE CREEK: #SBCoFD / @SanBernardinoNF on scene of a RESIDENTIAL STRUCTURE FIRE, 13k block Lytle Grove lane. Fully involved motor home with spread into the surrounding vegetation, exposure to 2 outbuildings & propane tanks. BDF engine E31 advising 1/4 ac


Latest Forum Posts
Posted by BBTennis in SOCALMOUNTAINS.COM EVENTS
Or if you prefer send me a PM. (Feb 27 : 11:35pm)

Posted by BBTennis in SOCALMOUNTAINS.COM EVENTS
I thought I'd ask here by the off chance that there are some people interested i (Feb 27 : 11:31pm)

Posted by Hugereilly in GENERAL DISCUSSION
"Dreams lost in time.." As the sun sets across an old homestead, Lucerne Valley (Feb 27 : 10:07pm)

Posted by MtMan in NEWS
Yup (Feb 27 : 05:24pm)

Posted by Skyline Drive in NEWS
Is that the guy from D&G Auto ?? (Feb 27 : 02:30pm)

Posted by SCM ALERT🚨 in NEWS
PRESS RELEASE (Feb 27 : 12:18pm)

Posted by SCM ALERT🚨 in NEWS
RUNNING SPRINGS, Calif. – On November 30, 2019 at approximately 1835 hours, a tr (Feb 27 : 12:05pm)

Posted by SCM ALERT🚨 in NEWS
SAN BERNARDINO USFS: Ignitions at the Angelus Oaks project site commenced this m (Feb 27 : 11:16am)


(C)2002-2020 Socalmountains.com
All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy Terms of Service
Contact Us

{THEMEDISCLAIMER}