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Aging

Author Post
MrOwl
Wed Feb 07 2018, 08:08AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


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Tlingit
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM

Kaagwaantaan Tlingit
Registered Member #14258
Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM
:
Posts: 147
All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand.
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."


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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.


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Craig ⭐
Sun Feb 25 2018, 03:55PM

Total Eclipse 2017 Casper WY

Joined: Fri Aug 18 2006, 05:50PM
:
Posts: 10984


LA Owl wrote ...

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.




Winter can leave now... Lets try to get above 50 degrees???
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
Thank goodness I'm not to that point!

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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.


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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1430
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"



And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".


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Delj
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
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Posts: 2048
I know that I am aging!
Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Moderators: Craig ⭐, ©ammy ⭐, Lumber Jill ⭐, Mtngoat John⭐, Deb Doodah⭐, SCM ALERT🚨, Benny ⭐, Socalmountains Admin, ⚡WX ALERT⚡

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yz4me
May 26 : 09:15pm
Thank you

⚡WX ALERT⚡
May 26 : 09:15pm
Not a whole lot, yet. There are reports of a couple spun out vehicles through Arctic Circle, but looking at the Snow Valley cam, not much has accumulated on the roads. With the temp still above freezing roads should be ok, just wet for now. As temperatures drop below freezing later tonight, expect some ice/snow develop on the roadways so travel safely if you must!

There's is another decent band of snow moving in over the next hour or two.... [Click Here]

yz4me
May 26 : 09:08pm
Any snow on the roads out there?

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:43pm
Reported Structure Fire Big Bear City: Chimney Burnout - Units Report Fire Out Upon Arrival - Cancel The Balance Of The Response More Info: [Click Here]

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:38pm
TYPE: STRUCTURE FIRE AREA: BIG BEAR CITY 3XX BARKER BLVD - BBC X N GOLD MOUNTAIN DR/N PARADISE WAY UNITS: ME282 BC2805 MT281 MA282A MA281 CLOCK10B LPTAC9D 2TAC3 BFAALL FEDCOM
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

Benny ⭐
May 26 : 08:21pm
R2 chain restrictions now if effect from snow valley to the big bear dam. (Arctic Circke)

Benny ⭐
May 26 : 08:19pm
I knew the answer cause I googled it, but didn't want to spoil it for the others!

SCM ALERT🚨
May 26 : 08:15pm
CHAIN RESTRICTIONS EXIST IN PORTIONS OF THE SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS
For realtime conditions, click here: [Click Here]

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 08:12pm
And apologies for the senility reference.

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 08:05pm
Yeahhh... "Carry on" on the Deja Vu album. 1970.

ChillyBeans
May 26 : 08:00pm
OMG I think I know the answer.
CSN&Y?

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 07:21pm
Another test for those of us approaching senility. 10 points for the first correct answer!!!

Polar Orbit
May 26 : 07:15pm
Caarrrry chains... snoooowwww is coming... snooowwwwww is coming to us all!!!

⚡WX ALERT⚡
May 26 : 07:03pm
Another wave of moisture will move through the area over the next several hours with more rain and snow showers likely. The snow level could dip to around 6,000 feet with a couple inches possible. Travel safely and carry chains just in case!

Benny ⭐
May 26 : 04:59pm
No, you're right Fawn, hopefully next year if they have more eaglets they'll do the same thing but let them public vote on them. They can vote on them with a $1 donation each or something..... Would be a great fundraiser for Friends of the Big Bear Valley!



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