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Aging

Author Post
MrOwl
Wed Feb 07 2018, 08:08AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


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Tlingit
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM

Kaagwaantaan Tlingit
Registered Member #14258
Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM
:
Posts: 118
All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand.
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."


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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.


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Craig (KJ6BCM)
Sun Feb 25 2018, 03:55PM

Total Eclipse 2017 Casper WY

Joined: Fri Aug 18 2006, 05:50PM
:
Posts: 10956


LA Owl wrote ...

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.




Winter can leave now... Lets try to get above 50 degrees???
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
Thank goodness I'm not to that point!

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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.


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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1329
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"



And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".


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Delj
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
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Posts: 2042
I know that I am aging!
Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Big Bear Bob
Feb 19 : 05:59am
Small confirmed chimney fire put out by Sheriff's Department. Units in investigative mode.

***SCM ALERT***
Feb 19 : 05:49am
TYPE: STRUCTURE FIRE AREA: BIG BEAR LAKE 427XX FOX FARM RD - BBLC X MOUNTAIN LAKE RD/TEAKWOOD DR UNITS: ME281 BC2807 ME282 ME283 MA281 MA282A CLOCK10B LPTAC9 BFAALL FEDCOM
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Feb 19 : 03:45am
TYPE: STRUCTURE FIRE AREA: BIG BEAR LAKE 410XX BIG BEAR BLVD -25 BBLC LEISURE BEAR MHP (BBL) X ALDEN RD/MAIN ST UNITS: ME281 BC2807 ME282 ME283 MA281 MA282A CLOCK10C LPTAC9 BFAALL FEDCOM
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IDKnothin
Feb 18 : 11:18pm
Oh - and that lonely chains checker guy at the middle passing lane.

IDKnothin
Feb 18 : 11:17pm
Unless it closed in the last 90 minutes - I just came down the 330 from Arrowbear. Wide open like a Tuesday night during the World Series. Nothin but crickets - and an occasional patch-o-ice.

Fordawgg
Feb 18 : 10:54pm
Thought 330 closed seen a few things saying accident on 330

Fordawgg
Feb 18 : 10:46pm
Welcome everyone

***SCM ALERT***
Feb 18 : 10:11pm
Welcome to SCM Shark!!

Shark05bait
Feb 18 : 10:08pm
Long time reader and finally created a usuer name. Been coming to work for 4 years and finally moved up here.
Love the info this site has, from road conditions, fires and other emergencies.

***WX ALERT***
Feb 18 : 10:02pm
Be advised, traffic going down on hwy 38 is backed up for many miles from jenks lake road west and at a stand still. Recommend using hwy 18 through lucerne valley as an alternative!

***SCM ALERT***
Feb 18 : 09:53pm
HIGHWAY 38 UPDATE FROM EYEWITNESS IN TRAFFIC - HEADING UPBOUND - HAS BEEN STOPPED FOR OVER AN HOUR - BIG RIG HAS FINALLY BEEN CLEARED FROM ROADWAY AND TRAFFIC IS MOVING AGAIN UPBOUND -- EYEWITNESS ALSO STATED THAT THERE ARE 2 SPUN OUT BUSES ON THE DOWNBOUND SIDE OF 38 WEST OF HEART BAR AND DOWNBOUND 38 TRAFFIC NOT MOVING

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Feb 18 : 09:49pm
TYPE: TRAFFIC ACCIDENT AREA: FREDALBA MM42 STATE 330 - FRE MM42-STATE330 X UNITS: ME91 E51 S51 MA50
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***SCM ALERT***
Feb 18 : 09:20pm
I love the Coachella Valley! I try to get down there to warm up, however, this year I haven't been able to as it wont stop snowing

contrails
Feb 18 : 09:20pm
I appreciate the friendly welcome. Thanks! I'm from Washington State, so sun in the mountains and 60 degrees in the desert is great!

***SCM ALERT***
Feb 18 : 09:18pm
TRAFFIC ADVISORY 3 - HIGHWAY 38 BETWEEN ANGELUS OAKS AND BIG BEAR - MAJOR DELAYS CONTINUE ON HIGHWAY 38 BOTH UPBOUND AND DOWNBOUND. THE MAJOR IMPACT IS BETWEEN ANGELUS OAKS AND HEART BAR - HIGHWAY 38 HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD DUE TO A STUCK BIG RIG AND OTHER VEHICLES - SEVERAL FOLKS HAVE NOTIFIED SCM OF BEING AT A DEAD STOP FOR 60-90 MINS UPBOUND HIGHWAY 38.



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