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Aging

Author Post
MrOwl
Wed Feb 07 2018, 08:08AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


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Tlingit
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM

Kaagwaantaan Tlingit
Registered Member #14258
Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM
:
Posts: 110
All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand.
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."


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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.


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Craig (KJ6BCM)
Sun Feb 25 2018, 03:55PM

Total Eclipse 2017 Casper WY

Joined: Fri Aug 18 2006, 05:50PM
:
Posts: 10911


LA Owl wrote ...

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.




Winter can leave now... Lets try to get above 50 degrees???
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
Thank goodness I'm not to that point!

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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.


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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1100
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"



And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".


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Delj
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
:
Posts: 1914
I know that I am aging!
Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Lumbe® Jill
Sep 18 : 09:59pm
Just thinking... the cubs are only in hiding for a few months. By hunting season they are very active and with mom most of the time.

MtMan
Sep 18 : 08:41pm
Ya eat the meat and make a rug.

Delj
Sep 18 : 07:39pm
So what do you do with a slain bear? Make a big stew, make a wall hanging, skin it?

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 18 : 05:40pm
TYPE: TRAFFIC ACCIDENT AREA: BARTON FLATS WILDHORSE CRK CAMPSITE -8 BFL WILDHORSE CRK CAMPSITE X UNITS: BP99
More Info: Click Here
Live Scanner: Click Here

***SCM ALERT***
Sep 18 : 05:28pm
***HIGHWAY 18 TO LUCERNE VALLEY IS CLOSED FOR AN UNKNOWN DURATION DUE TO A SEMI TRUCK BLOCKING LANES***

Benny (N6BWX)
Sep 18 : 05:01pm
Sun Diego, it was been changed, they can hunt black bears...

Sun Diego
Sep 18 : 04:20pm
It seems to me that bear hunting was for grizzlies and that the law should be change for black bears. How do we do that?

Sun Diego
Sep 18 : 04:19pm
I found a large sad looking coon hound at Camp La Verne in year 2000 and called the number on the tag and he said he would be rght out. A few hours later I large truck or a truck and trailer pulled up and all of the dogs in back were baying as was the one I had tied up. He apoligized for taing so long to get to camp but he said, once he picked up his keys they all wanted to come with him. But it takes a while to get them all into their cage. I think he must of had 24 of them or so. Dog sure was happy to be reunited..


Just Thinkin'
Sep 18 : 04:06pm
Bear cubs typically stay with their mothers for 2 years, learning survival skills before finding their own territories. So...during "bear season", how can hunters be 100% sure that any females they kill don't have babies hidden from view?

MrOwl
Sep 18 : 03:56pm
Hunter was just mauled by grizzly in Montana

Casadelgado
Sep 18 : 03:47pm
Thanks for info. Very sad though.

Minka
Sep 18 : 03:15pm
Benny: 👍🏻🤞🏻

Jellylorum
Sep 18 : 03:14pm
Also, dogs can no longer be used while hunting bear, and certain other animals. That WAS legal until a couple years ago.

I had forgotten that the rule was changed.That might explain why I didn't have any dogs show up last year.

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Jellylorum
Sep 18 : 03:09pm
No. Babies and mothers with babies cannot be taken.

Casadelgado
Sep 18 : 02:14pm
Ben, there are pictures all over FB with Momma bears and babies. Can they kill the babies too?



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