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Aging

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MrOwl
Wed Feb 07 2018, 08:08AM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
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Posts: 1446
God's Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do here, today, may be a burning issue somewhere else, tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.


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Tlingit
Wed Feb 07 2018, 10:29AM

Kaagwaantaan Tlingit
Registered Member #14258
Joined: Tue Jun 20 2017, 09:19PM
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Posts: 165
All make sense to me, especially #4 lol. Sage words.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't understand.
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:46AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
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Posts: 1446
GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."


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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 10:49AM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1446
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.


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Craig ⭐
Sun Feb 25 2018, 03:55PM

Total Eclipse 2017 Casper WY

Joined: Fri Aug 18 2006, 05:50PM
:
Posts: 10992


LA Owl wrote ...

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when you forget to pull it down.




Winter can leave now... Lets try to get above 50 degrees???
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MrOwl
Sun Feb 25 2018, 04:05PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1446
Thank goodness I'm not to that point!

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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
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Posts: 1446
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.


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MrOwl
Fri Jun 29 2018, 02:40PM

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1446
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"



And that, my friend, is the sad definition of "OLD".


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Delj
Fri Jun 29 2018, 03:18PM
Registered Member #905
Joined: Fri Oct 05 2007, 10:18AM
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Posts: 2048
I know that I am aging!
Everything hurts except for the parts that no longer work!

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell.
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Tlingit
Aug 24 : 01:37pm
Assimilation is key mtman. If I moved to another country I'd be expected to speak the language.

WaveSlider
Aug 24 : 11:50am
Have a good weekend everybody. Looks really nice up there.

MtMan
Aug 24 : 11:24am
I get your point but disagree. You should learn english if you live here, period.

wolfman
Aug 24 : 11:00am
Korean

wolfman
Aug 24 : 10:59am
I think that the turn out signs should also be written Spainish,Mandarin and loren.

Socalman
Aug 24 : 10:28am
I have been going up and down from Big Bear for almost 70 years. We are part-timers. My parents owned since about 1957, my wife and I bought in 2002. I can tell you that is it not only flatlanders who do speed up on the passing lanes.I have seen cars and trucks with business signs do the same. I am not offended by the term flatlander, I suppose it is descriptive. It certainly is easier then saying 'someone who lives off the mountain.'

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 10:00am
"flatlanders" is a derogatory remark don't you think Nona?

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 09:36am
Evaj X2...I have 2 pitties that don't like the curves so I get it.

Between ⭐️S
Aug 24 : 07:23am
Today is Mel Blanc & Kids day at the museum. The Museum will welcomes Noel and Katherine Blanc who will be appearing between 1 and 2 pm. Museum docents will be reading to children young and old “Melvin the Mouth”, written by Katherine Blanc. The book describes a typical school day enjoyed by Mel. The readings will be held in the Doble School House at 11:00 a.m., and 12:00, 2:00, and 3:00 p.m.

dsrtpsn
Aug 24 : 06:09am
clouds looking ominous just to the East of Indio

holeinbow
Aug 24 : 04:03am
Thanks huge, you had us cracking up...

Hugereilly
Aug 23 : 10:24pm
While driving UTH, my 6yo grandson asked me how I knew that everyone that was in front of me was named Dick. !!

MrOwl
Aug 23 : 09:33pm
Hey SCM. 3 car rule in Idaho but rarely does anyone pull in the slow vehicle pullout lane area

SCM ALERT🚨
Aug 23 : 07:55pm
Hey Mr Owl!

Benny ⭐
Aug 23 : 07:39pm
Yeah they've even put signs up along hwy 38, 5 or more cars to pull over. Haven't noticed them on 330, and it doesn't seem like they do any good anyway.



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