Current Weather @ 2:10 PM Clear skies Temp 78.0º Humidity 28% Winds NNE 11.0mph Max Gust 18.4mph
Todays Extremes High 78.0º Low 42.1º Rain 0.00" Rain Rate 0.000" per hr Snow 0.00" Season 0"
LATEST ALERTS (whats this?)
None at this time
Welcome
Username:

Password:


Remember me

[ ]
[ ]
ROADS AND TRAFFIC
Updated: 02:00 PM v2.1
Big Bear to Highland (330): 42 mins  
Highland to Big Bear (330): 43 mins  
Big Bear to Redlands  (38): 66 mins  
Redlands to Big Bear  (38): 67 mins  
Big Bear to Lucerne    (18): 35 mins  
Lucerne to Big Bear    (18): 36 mins  
=Light  =Moderate  =Heavy Traffic
Road Conditions Page: Click Here
Online
Guests: 456, Members: 1 ...
Sadie Girl

most ever online: 1740
(Members: 37, Guests: 1703) on Feb 22 : 08:23am

Members: 5587
Newest member: caegwe backdoor
SUPPORT SCM!
Support SCM by making a single or recurring donation.

Member's Birthdays:

Upcoming Birthdays:
Aug 25 iladyofthelake
Aug 26 WindyBaldwin
Aug 28 FightsFire4U
Aug 31 ArrowheadHunter
Sep 01 crow
Sep 01 MountainDog
Forums
Socalmountains.com :: Forums :: JOKES & FUNNY/STUPID STORIES
<< Previous thread | Next thread >>   

Vet Specialists

Author Post
Stringfellow
Thu Sep 14 2017, 05:27PM Email Thread Print View

Stringfellow
Registered Member #280
Joined: Thu Jan 11 2007, 12:24PM
:
Posts: 419
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Let men be wise by instinct if they can, but when this fails be wise by good advice.
Sophocles, Antigone
Back to top

Moderators: Craig ⭐, ©ammy ⭐, Lumber Jill ⭐, Mtngoat John⭐, Deb Doodah⭐, SCM ALERT🚨, Benny ⭐, Socalmountains Admin, ⚡WX ALERT⚡

Jump:     Back to top

Powered by e107 Forum System
Chatbox
You must be logged in to post comments on this site - please either log in or if you are not registered click here to signup


Tlingit
Aug 24 : 01:37pm
Assimilation is key mtman. If I moved to another country I'd be expected to speak the language.

WaveSlider
Aug 24 : 11:50am
Have a good weekend everybody. Looks really nice up there.

MtMan
Aug 24 : 11:24am
I get your point but disagree. You should learn english if you live here, period.

wolfman
Aug 24 : 11:00am
Korean

wolfman
Aug 24 : 10:59am
I think that the turn out signs should also be written Spainish,Mandarin and loren.

Socalman
Aug 24 : 10:28am
I have been going up and down from Big Bear for almost 70 years. We are part-timers. My parents owned since about 1957, my wife and I bought in 2002. I can tell you that is it not only flatlanders who do speed up on the passing lanes.I have seen cars and trucks with business signs do the same. I am not offended by the term flatlander, I suppose it is descriptive. It certainly is easier then saying 'someone who lives off the mountain.'

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 10:00am
"flatlanders" is a derogatory remark don't you think Nona?

Tlingit
Aug 24 : 09:36am
Evaj X2...I have 2 pitties that don't like the curves so I get it.

Between ⭐️S
Aug 24 : 07:23am
Today is Mel Blanc & Kids day at the museum. The Museum will welcomes Noel and Katherine Blanc who will be appearing between 1 and 2 pm. Museum docents will be reading to children young and old “Melvin the Mouth”, written by Katherine Blanc. The book describes a typical school day enjoyed by Mel. The readings will be held in the Doble School House at 11:00 a.m., and 12:00, 2:00, and 3:00 p.m.

dsrtpsn
Aug 24 : 06:09am
clouds looking ominous just to the East of Indio

holeinbow
Aug 24 : 04:03am
Thanks huge, you had us cracking up...

Hugereilly
Aug 23 : 10:24pm
While driving UTH, my 6yo grandson asked me how I knew that everyone that was in front of me was named Dick. !!

MrOwl
Aug 23 : 09:33pm
Hey SCM. 3 car rule in Idaho but rarely does anyone pull in the slow vehicle pullout lane area

SCM ALERT🚨
Aug 23 : 07:55pm
Hey Mr Owl!

Benny ⭐
Aug 23 : 07:39pm
Yeah they've even put signs up along hwy 38, 5 or more cars to pull over. Haven't noticed them on 330, and it doesn't seem like they do any good anyway.



(C)2002-2018 Socalmountains.com
All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy Terms of Service
Contact Us

{THEMEDISCLAIMER}