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Court Reporters

Author Post
MrOwl
Tue Mar 28 2017, 03:58PM Email Thread Print View

Registered Member #13568
Joined: Sun Oct 23 2016, 01:54PM
:
Posts: 1446
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
___________________________________ _________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
___________________________________ _________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
___________________________________ __
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________ _

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
___________________________________ ______
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
___________________________________ _________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
attorney?
___________________________________ _________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
___________________________________ __
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________________ ___
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
___________________________________ ______
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
___________________________________ ______
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
___________________________________ _________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

___________________________________ ___
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.



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NShore.Allen
Tue Mar 28 2017, 09:46PM

wanna be UTH
Registered Member #4616
Joined: Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:37PM
:
Posts: 2259


A smile is a curve that can set things a lot of things straight
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Dreamweaver
Aug 21 : 10:11pm
In The Grizzly, According to the Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment, microcystis (blue green algae) releases a toxin into the water when its cells die. Ingestion of water or algae containing microcystin can create health problems for fish, dogs, cats, livestock and people.
Please watch your furry friends.

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 05:59pm
You bet!

bildo
Aug 21 : 05:17pm
I'm glad I checked. I would not have been happy to have driven there from RS at 5:30am... Guess I'll do this one next week.
THANKS!

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 05:12pm
Yeah that's not going to work, that's where they're filming... Unless you hoofed it around on the backside (south) side of the ridge to steer clear of the area. The helicopter will be doing touch and go's in that area.

bildo
Aug 21 : 04:58pm
Hmmm. The ridge route (2N21) was what I had planned. I'm not heading to Sugarloaf - I wanted to go to Sugarlump - which I think may also be known as Bear Peak. USGS calls it Sugarlump.

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 04:38pm
No, the only traffic control is for the repaving project down on Moonridge for the new Zoo. But if you're going to Sugarloaf and parking via 2N10, you cannot get through. All the filming is taking place across our ridge route, from Chair 9 over to Bear Peak, so you can't cross over the Bear Mtn Property from that direction. You'd need to hike up from the Moonridge/Lassen side or go park off Hwy 38.

bildo
Aug 21 : 04:04pm
Thanks Benny. So, no traffic control up to the trailhead at the end of Club View for parking?

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 03:54pm
You're fine bildo, the shoot is taking place on Bear Mtn's property. The helicopter isn't here yet, you're probably just seeing the tour chopper. There's a Blackhawk coming in for the filming, probably tomorrow through the weekend.

bildo
Aug 21 : 03:33pm
Hi all - was planning a hike tomorrow morning to Sugarlump Peak, starting at end of Club View. Will this be a problem due to movie shoot? Planned start 6am.

solargardens
Aug 21 : 02:38pm
We are thinning out our LOTS of our purple iris.
We would to like to find homes for them.
Check out the green thumbs forum for more information.

Casadelgado
Aug 21 : 02:34pm
Indeed I missed it. Try to read this every day but sometimes I don't catch things. Getting old.....

doo·hick·ey
Aug 21 : 02:27pm
(Tiny chopper) for aerial footage? Or are they all using drones for that?

doo·hick·ey
Aug 21 : 02:18pm
I thought Homeland was cancelled. There goes a chopper..

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 02:17pm
We've been talking about it on here for a while now.... surprised you missed it!

Benny ⭐
Aug 21 : 02:16pm
Yeah wait'll the military helicopters land... then it'll be a party!



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